A Kingdom Perspective on Brotherhood – 5/20
Sermon Series: Building Kingdom Focus
Date – 5/20/07
Title: – A Kingdom Perspective of Brotherhood
Text: Matt. 18:15-17 (ESV)
” “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.””
Theme: The Kingdom priority on brotherhood demands that we care enough about our Christian brothers and sisters that we go the extra mile to restore broken relationships.
Introduction: A clip from the quiet man. Talking about how we settle our differences.
Transition: Over the past several weeks we have been talking about some of the marks of a kingdom builder. Some of those we have talked about are: servant-hood, childlikeness, humility and having a heart for God’s little ones. We have also talked about trusting God to take care of you and having a priority for God’s mission rather than our mission. The last message in this series is about the priority of brother and sister relationships within the body of Christ. Its interesting isn’t it, that Jesus never envisioned a church where everybody got along with no problem whatsoever. You see He knew much better then that, He only had to look around to see that not even these twelve that he traveled with were able to get along. It is part of the human condition that our relationships are strained at times. The question for us as Christians is not whether or not our relationships will find themselves strained but rather what to do when they are. So in this passage he gives us the steps that are necessary when brotherhood and fellowship are threatened.
I. Consider –
a. Recognize that there is a problem.
b. This can sometimes be the biggest hurdle to overcome.
c. It means being honest enough with ourselves and the others in the community of Christ to recognize that we have feelings and sometimes those feelings get hurt. Or sometimes we get angry. Or sometimes we just don’t like the way that other people do things.
i. Incidentally in Jesus’ teaching both the offended party (as here in Matt. 18), and the offensive party are told to go and restore fellowship. In Matt. 5 Jesus tells us that if we are at worship (at the altar) and remember something that we have done to somebody then we have to stop our worship and go make the situation right. – In his book “Surviving Friendly Fire”, Ron Dunn talks about the need to get worship in the right order. Jesus demands that restoration of brotherhood comes before worship.
d. Once we admit that we are unhappy with the other person we have to decide what to do with it.
i. This is the first place where we can put the body of Christ at risk. As we consider the events that have precipitated our hurt or anger we cannot share them with anybody else. You see if it is a big enough deal to talk about then you have to talk it over with the person with whom you have a problem with.
ii. Brotherhood is too important of a concept to allow us to damage the body by running people down to others.
iii. After you have examined the problem you have to determine whether or not it’s something that you need to share at all.
II. Confront –
a. Go to the brother or sister that offended you.
b. The scripture is clear that this initial confrontation must be in private. This is so that you allow the Spirit to work were He works best, in the human heart not on the stage of public opinion.
c. Motivation is always an important part of this step.
i. Gal. 6:1,2 – ” Brothers, if someone is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual should restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so you won’t be tempted also. Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2, HCSB)
ii. Different kinds of confrontation
1. Angry Confrontation – “You’ve really done it this time!!!”
2. Assertive Confrontation – “I get angry when… or I get frustrated when…”
3. Direct Confrontation – How you treat your children – “Johnny you better clean your room before I return!”
4. Indirect Confrontation – Shotgun blast
iii. Christian Confrontation – The point of every confrontation has to be the same. It is about restoring the bonds of fellowship that are so vital to the Body.
1. A note to those who are comfortable in confrontation. This does not give you license to run around and get in a fight with everybody that you feel like. If your goal is not reconciliation and restoration then don’t do it.
2. A note to those who are not comfortable in confrontation. Scripture is clear that we have to be willing to do the hard stuff in order to keep brotherhood intact. This means that at times you will have to risk yourself enough to talk to people about the hard stuff.
d. Timing is important.
i. A long enough time that the initial flush of emotion has had time to pass.
ii. Not so long that resentment or self-righteousness has had time to build up.
III. Companions –
a. Involving other loving members of the Body. This step explains why it was so important that you didn’t go around building your side up to others before the initial confrontation takes place.
b. These companions had better be spiritually mature people. People that you can trust to have the best interest of the body at heart not your best interest.
i. This is not intended to be the place where you go enlist the help of your buddies to mentally, emotionally or perhaps physically beat up the other person. This is a step that is intended to keep the best of the body involved in the healing process.
ii. Normally these would be leaders in the Church Elders or perhaps deacons. People who have been entrusted with the well being of the body.
IV. Community –
a. If the first steps have not resulted in the reconciliation of the brother then it is time the do the hard part of involving the Church community. This should be very, very rare.
b. This is part of the reason that Church leaders should be the companions that you approach to help. It will be necessary for them to determine when it is appropriate to bring the matter before the community of believers.
c. This step does a couple of things
i. It involves the whole community in the situation. Maybe there is someone in the larger community that has the ability to change the offenders mind and heart.
ii. It serves as a warning for the rest of the body; it is ok for us to understand that there are consequences for sinful behavior. 1 Tim. 5:20 “As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all so that the rest may stand in fear.”
d. A few warnings associated with this step.
i. This is not to be done in a worship service on Sunday morning. A special congregational meeting must be called. Visitors or non-members cannot participate here.
ii. If the person removes their membership from the Church we no longer have the right to discipline them.
V. Correction –
a. Treat them like a tax collector or sinner –
b. I have struggled a bit with this part of the passage, let me tell you why. When Jesus tells us to treat the offending party like sinners and tax collectors what exactly is he asking us to do? Most people have taken this to mean that we toss them out of our fellowship and shun them so that they would feel shame and disconnected from people.
c. The other thing I asked myself as I read this text was, how did Jesus treat Gentiles and tax collectors? One of the things that the religious leaders of the time barked at Jesus about continually was that He associated, even ate, with sinners and tax collectors. So is Jesus asking us to make them a part of the churches mission field? Are supposed to begin taking the gospel message to them and invite them to church?
d. I eventually decided that a little of both of these points of view were correct. I believe that we have to put ourselves in the shoes of the audience that Jesus was talking to and ask ourselves how they would have understood this message. From their cultural point of view Gentles and tax collectors would have been refused entry into the worship houses of the day. There were social consequences to their behavior; I think the same is true of an offending brother that is so recalcitrant as to not admit to obvious sinfulness.
e. On the other hand the end view has always got to be toward restoration when the brother has admitted and turned away from their sinfulness.
VI. Consolation –
a. Return them into the body of Christ.
b. 2 Corinthians 2 – This scripture gives us a clear picture of the need to restore the one who has repented and asked for forgiveness. Even if it takes years this is the goal that we are looking for.
c. Story of failure to reconcile.
